1. If Republican presidential candidates were a wine list

    • Waiter: What would you like?
    • Me: Well, I was in the mood for some internal misogyny.
    • Waiter: We have a fine Bachmann 2012. Not as spicy as the Palin '08 but...
    • Me: Well actually, do you have anything with really strong tinges of racism?
    • Waiter: Well the Paul '88 was, of course, legendary. The racism in the Paul '12 is much more subtle but make no mistake, it's still there. The Paul doesn't really work without at least a hint of racism on the nose. I also hear the Perry is...
    • Me: You know, I haven't had anything with a strong misplaced family values base since the Bush '04.
    • Waiter: Oh well then, sir, you'll want to sample both the Romney and the Gingrich. Although, while they both say 'contains family values' on the label, you really have to hold it back in the throat and inhale to even find a trace of it.
    • Me: What if I just want something kind of different but vaguely familiar at the same time, that will leave me somewhat confused or possibly disturbed?
    • Waiter: The Cain is new but I doubt it'll stay in stock long.
    • Me: I dunno, Do you have anything frothy?
    • Waiter: It's your lucky day.

Notes

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About me

Aloha, mortals. It is I, Allison. I'm 17, and I currently reside in the non-NYC part of New York. Things I love include Harry Potter, Pokemon, books, history, Star Trek, Stephen Fry, fanfiction, weird science, fucking with people, inapropriately short skirts, cats, fandom, anime, Neopets, Studio Ghibli, and being a troll.

SLYTHERIN
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